The MLB is something I have never really payed much or any attention to. Baseball was always too slow of a sport for me. That being said I will use said knowledge of the sport to bring you winning picks 30 percent of the time all the time.
Atlanta Braves v. Miami Marlins
By the time I wrote this the game had already ended. I pick the Marlins.
Colorado Rockies v. New York Yankees
Gotta give this one to those stoners over in Colorado. No Wall Street man is going to outsmart the well thought out game plan of somebody ripped out of their mind. Nice try though.
Kansas City Royals v. New York Mets
The Mets are about to take a royally sized dump all over Kansas City. Any team with Big Sexy will get my vote.
Los Angeles Angels v. Houston Astros
Have you even seen the throwback Astros jerseys that every college student ever wears? Sold only second to Vince Carter Toronto Raptor’s Jersey on Aliexpress. Ya that’s what I thought. Advantage Astros.
Chicago Cubs v. St. Louis Cardinals
Fuck St. Louis and everything about them. There ya go.
Milwaukee Brewers v. Oakland Athletics
Ummmm hello? Do I really need to tell you on this one? People who make beer versus athletic people in a sport. Take the athletes every time. Unless its beersby. Or golf.
Arizona Diamondbacks v. Toronto Blue Jays
The Dbacks used to have a pitcher with the same last name as me. No relation, but still they’re the obvious choice for that one.
San Francisco Giants v. Pittsburgh Pirates
Ever heard of Barry Bonds? Ya, no way they can lose with him on their team. Also Pittsburgh has already done enough winning recently.
San Diego Padres v. Baltimore Oroes
Pick the cookie 10/10 times.
Tampa Ray Bay’s v. Cleveland Indians
I think we can all agree that LeBron can’t do everything for this city. Take Tampa. Cleveland is still a bunch of losers.
Seattle Mariners v. Detroit Tigers
Unless Macklemore is singing the national anthem you can count Seattle out of this one.
Chicago White Sox v. Boston Red Sox
White people versus Red people, don’t actually know who could be considered a Red person but whoever it is the Whites shall emerge victorious.
Cincinnati Reds v. Texas Rangers
People from Texas versus people from Cincinnati. Gee I wonder who’s gonna win that one. Tex Mex > Cincinnati Chili
Philadelphia Phillies v. Minnesota Twins
Who the hell names their team after their city. That’s what Michael Scott would refer to as a “lose, lose, lose” situation. No votes here.
Washington Nationals v. Los Angeles Dodgers
Bryce Harper v. Jackie Robinson in a cage match. No rules. 50’s black guy against a 2010’s white guy? I know exactly where to put my money. Dodgers got this one.