Join me in a Moment of Silence for Every Toilet “The Iranian Hulk” has Destroyed

Source: h/t Fox Sports:

You know how Yao Ming makes everyone he stands next to, even fellow NBA players, look extremely small? 24-year-old Iranian powerlifter Sajad Gharibi, whose upper body is approximately the same size as a giant redwood tree, is the same way for people of average height.

Gharibi, nicknamed the “Iranian Hulk” and “Persian Hercules”, went viral after people discovered his incredible Instagram page. He’s a real-life caricature. Gharibi is angling for a tryout with WWE and tagged Triple H in one of his photos, and we can’t stop thinking about seeing him in the same ring with a tiny high-flyer like Kalisto.

Iranian hulk

Iran’s baby aspirin reserves took a major hit when Sajad Gharibi decided to transform himself into the love child of Vince Wilfork and the Michelin Man. When I first looked at this dude I figured it had to be silicon injections, implants, or roids that made him this way. None of those methods of “self-improvement” have been ruled out, but assuming he doesn’t fail whatever drug test the WWE offers we’re going to see this guy in the ring at some point in the near future.

Guys like JJ Watt, and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson are crushing like two dozen eggs a day. That means “The Iranian Hulk” must be shotgunning ostrich eggs like they’re Kirkland Lights.

I’ve doubled down on Chipotle burritos before, I know I’m not alone, and the outcome is always the same. I wallow in regret for the remainder of the day and spend an asinine amount of time on the porcelain throne before leaving an eyebrow singing ambiance in my wake.

If regular everyday people like me and you can do that to a bathroom. Imagine what our boy Sajad is capable of. Insect infestation and you need your house fumigated? Call Sajad, feed him a few ‘taco 12 packs’ and let the kid work. If anything manages to live through the cataclysmic, nuclear bomb level devastation that erupts from Mount St. Gharabi then take it to a lab for analysis, and send soldiers overseas to fight with it as body armor.

RIP in peace to the plumbing systems of America when Vince McMahon brings this guy over here.

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