Our ancestors would be proud. When Thomas Jefferson sat at his desk, with his quill pen, writing out the Declaration of Independence, he had the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest in mind. Not only is it one of the best displays of athletic ability, strength, desire, and human dominance over nature, it is one of the best displays of America. Nothing screams 4th of July like an enormous amount of people gathered in the streets of Coney Island as people compete to eat the most hot dogs.
*Photo courtesy of Forbes.com
For those of you who celebrated America’s independence a little too hard last night and slept through the 12 o’clock contest, you missed history. In history books for years to come the 2016 hot dog eating contest will follow right behind the fight for independence from Great Britain. America’s own Joey Chestnut set the record for most hot dogs eaten, at a whopping 70 dogs. Reclaiming his title from Matt Stonie and against a lot of other stiff competition, including this year’s sleeper, Dan Katz. So how can one be so sure he set this record fairly? Chestnut seemed a little camera shy, either from the 70 hot dogs that he was struggling to keep in his stomach, or because he was ducking these allegations. I’m a Chestnut supporter for life, but I also know he dominated the competition this year. Dominated. And my hypothesis is simple. Chestnut, coming off a rough 2015 contest, losing to the young gun Matt Stonie, wanted an absolute guaranteed win in 2016. Now I’m not sure how strict Nathan’s is about keeping their athletes clean, how often they check for PEDs is a mystery to me. But it wouldn’t have been hard for Chestnut to take a couple hits of what Michael Phelps has been smoking to help pump his numbers up. I’m not badmouthing Chestnut here, that would be first degree treason, I’m just trying to speculate how a human was able to fit 70 hot dogs into his stomach in a matter of minutes. I’ll have to get in contact with Nathan’s and investigate this matter further. Happy 4th.