Johnny Manziel Has a Snapchat, Either Broke His Sobriety or is Permanently Not Sober

Supposedly Johnny Maziel has been sober since July 1st. A feat nobody thought was possible. And it probably isn’t. Yesterday, Money Manziel decided it would be a good idea to get his very own snapchat account. Cause you know, if you’ve been in the public eye way too much recently and getting in trouble for your personal life the you definitely want to have a snapchat. In case you didn’t hear about it or haven’t seen it you can add him @jmanziel2

On his very first day he must have posted what seemed like a billion snapchats. Worse than a 19 year old white girl at Lollapalooza or me when I drink cause I have to prove to people that I’m high school popular and party and stuff. Some of the aspects were pretty normal. He’s in some super nice house with a big ass pool and the weather is perfect and he’s got friends around to hang out with. Pretty sweet setup, especially for somebody who is no longer in the NFL after like 2 days there and has been constantly hitting women.

But anyways, he has this nice setup and it looks like a super nice place to just relax and clean up your act. NOT FOR MANZIEL. The dude is going crazy in this place. He’s dressing all wacky and acting crazy. Blasting rap and just going nuts to it with his weird haircut. You watch like 20 seconds of it and you’ll think that there is no way in hell he is sober. Literally the only explanation I can think of is that he did so much party that he is in just a permanent not sober state. Like he doesn’t drink alcohol anymore, but he sure is hammered right now from all the drinking he did before. No more shrooms left out on the table, but trust me he is still tripping hard.

weird manziel

Now personally I think this is a good thing. When everybody was talking about how dumb he is and how easy it would be to go sober to get into the NFL and make millions, I was right there cheering for Johnny to keep going. Keep partying Manziel. That is who you are. NFL coaches hate quitters, so why would you quit something right in their faces. Now that is just bad business. Keep on drinking and doing drugs and he will sure find his way right back into the NFL where he belongs (or more likely not even making it close and ends up getting his own reality show and marrying one of the younger Kardashians or something). Wait he’s not black. Abort mission, abort Johnny! Stay sober and maybe make it back to the NFL. It’s more likely than getting into that reverse racist group that is the Kardashians.


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