NCAA Wants to Eliminate the Kickoff From College Football

succubus

^ Mark Emmert, President of the NCAA

The NCAA has been having discussions about eliminating the kickoff from College Football.  Wow, the succubus that is the NCAA is trying to ruin more College Football fun? Shocking. The kick off is one of the most fun plays to watch in football. No better feeling than seeing your teams kick returner pass the other teams kicker to yards and yards of open field. And is the NCAA really telling me that they don’t want to see this ever?

So what exactly is the argument for canceling kickoffs? Something about how based on their stats it is the play that results in the most injuries. Really? It took looking at the numbers to figure that out. The play where 11 overly sized men charge at another 11 overly sized men full speed and hit each other as hard as they can. Who would have thought.

But yet again the NCAA is trying to make it a “safer” sport. If you want a safe sport go play soccer (sorry Ben). These men are driven to hit people, to make contact and use all that testosterone that they have built up on the field so they don’t go using it off of the field. So you’re telling me that by getting rid of the kickoff we’re really making things safer?

*thinks back to when Kenyan Drake snapped his forearm in half on a kickoff*

Oh ya maybe it is a dangerous play. But honestly its not even about the kickoff. It comes down to the same thing every single time. People trying to make a sport safer. This has been going on a ton recently. And I hate it. Its a dangerous game, but that is what makes it so fun to watch. That’s what makes athletes special. The grit and determination to put up with the beatings and fight through it. As a regular person, I could never withstand the beatings that the average football player goes through, which is why I don’t play. But as we slowly pull out the contact more and more, it becomes an easier sport to play.

So is this really what we want? No it sure isn’t. And I can absolutely guarantee you that if you asked Kenyan Drake if breaking his arm was worth winning a National Championship and getting drafted into the NFL he would say yes in a heartbeat.

Also, if we get rid of kickoffs then how else is Lucy supposed to trick Charlie Brown’s punk ass into whiffing and falling?

charlie brown

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