To quote that senator from ‘Batman v Superman’, “Today, is a day for truth” and that’s exactly what I’m going to give you guys right now. See, Warner Bros has a new movie coming out called ‘Kong: Skull Island’ and they’re trying to brand it as a reboot to the ‘King Kong’ franchise. That’s bullshit. Watch the trailer and tell me that this ape doesn’t remind you of a different gorilla:
Ya, that’s totally Harambe. This is a classic bait and switch right here; tell everyone a new ‘Kong’ movie is coming out so those fans get excited and everyone else is kind of interested. Then, a couple months before the movie is set to come out, release a new trailer and reveal that it’s actually based on Harambe coming back from the dead and exacting revenge on us! It’s literally the perfect plan. The second this happens internet is going to burn down. There will be nation-wide looting and the purge will suddenly become a real thing.This movie will easily cross the $10 billion mark worldwide on it’s opening weekend.
And I can tell you who the villain is right now; Hillary Clinton. Seriously, she happens to ‘accidentally’ misplace a shit-load of emails the same year our charming gorilla is murdered? That’s a lie! We all know she had a hand in his death and the it’ll be revealed in the movie. After that Trump will get elected and we can make America great again.
But until this reveal happens, all we can do is gas beers and chuck knucks in his memory. #RIPHarambe #SaturdaysAreForTheBoys
P.S. Having Tom Hiddleston as an army badass is just an added bonus for the movie. I bet him and Hillary have a hand-to-hand fight in it.
*Header from the King Kong wikipedia