Bears sign running back Joique Bell so they can lose by less on Sunday

h/t ESPN

Joique Bell has a new home and he’s staying in the NFC North.

The former Detroit Lions running back agreed to a deal with the Chicago Bears on Tuesday, posting an announcement to his Instagram account. And his first game with his new team will come against his old team, the Lions.

The Bears face off against the Lions, who cut Bell in February, this Sunday at 1 p.m. The Bears have a depleted backfield, and with Langford out for multiple weeks the Bell signing is probably the right move.

But

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The Bears are the worst team in the NFL. They are a dumpster fire rolling down a a mountain of garbage.

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Technically, they aren’t the worst in any of those categories. However, if you’ve watched a game this season you have noticed that they are definitely the worst team to watch.

The Bears were once a team that could seal the edge and run a certain somebody outside, and then mix in a dive between the tackles. They were once a team that could keep linebackers guessing and beat DBs deep because defenses respected that certain someone I brought up earlier.

Yeah, Eddie Royal provided us all with a little breath of Devin-Hester nostalgia, and reminded us of a special teams unit that could pack a stadium by itself. But the Bears completely lack an identity right now.

Sunday night, on the first play of the game (the first play in the teams set of scripted plays that are run all week four hundred times), Brian Hoyer and Langford had a miscommunication. The rest of the game followed suit.

And in the blink of an eye the Bears were flossed by a rookie QB for the second week in a row.

The Monsters of the Midway have been lobotomized and they have no idea what they are.

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We signed Joique Bell though. He has a lifetime average of 4 YPC, and he had around 1200 yards of total offense for the Lions in both the 2013 and 2014 seasons.

So we’re going to lose by less on Sunday. Not necessarily by less points. We’ll probably lose by two Stafford bombs, but those Joique Bell yards should soothe your Sunday scaries and close the total yards gap.

PS. Jay will probably come back from his “injury” and throw 5 touchdowns and we’ll lose on a Matt Prater field goal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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